Guess I’m just not good enough. Never had what it took. Or maybe people just really do grow apart after awhile, no matter how much you love them.
I tried my best, to be the best for you. I know I wasn’t perfect, and I never will be. There are things I’ve done, things I’ve probably said that I shouldn’t have. Butted in where I had no right to. But all these years… I’ve done nothing but love you. That at least, was a single constant, through every up and down.
I just wish you had the balls to tell me you don’t want to have anything to with me anymore to my face. But no, you ran off with that new bunch of friends, doing things that… well you want to do and made it pointedly clear you don’t want my involved in any way, shape or form. And that’s your right, given it’s your life. And I have no right to tell you how to live it.
You haven’t been happy with me lately, and I have a few guesses as to why. But just like you have your life to live, so do I. Doesn’t mean I ever wanted a wedge drawn between us. I would like to say these things to you in person, but I doubt you would listen, or care. You’ve got things in your mind, and certain ways you want to do them, so I’ve got little choice but to let you go ahead and do it and just stand here and keep waiting.
Waiting for the day you decide you want to have something to do with me again. If ever. I just wish… I had some way of conveying to you just how much I miss you. Of how much I’ve always loved you and always will, no matter what. That I worry about you as much as anyone else does or would, and that I can’t help that. I know you know how to take care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop worrying. You’re family and I love you and these things you do… they hurt me so bad but I don’t think you care.
And that’s okay because I suppose I lost your respect. I just never imagined I would have lost you along with it, without having the chance to make up for it. So go on, enjoy your new friends. I won’t bother you, I promise. I hope someday you find happiness. With, or without me in the picture.
Forever and always, I will be here. I promise.
I love you, Sena.
