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It’s Been Awhile
“Well hello there. Been ‘while, ain’t’t?”
Dark green eyes lifted, a robed figure with an angel’s face and an overbearing aura of Light sat at a bench with a book in his hands when the darkly armored elf with the thick drawl had approached him. The robed one had drawn his cowl back to reveal bronzed colored skin and a thick mane of black and gold streaked hair. It was a strange kind of compliment to the armored elf’s appearance, given the other had the same black hair, however it was streaked with silver instead. His expression reflected familiarity, warmth, even a bit of affection, though there was a faint trace of wariness in those eyes as well, as they studied the armored one in silence.
“Huh. Guess yer ‘right. We talk plenty ‘nough still. But it’s been weeks, damn near’a month since we las’ been able t’sit down’n have a chat. So what ‘bout’t?” His lips quirked upwards, showing a toothy grin. Filled with confidence and even a hint of dominance.
The robed figure narrowed his eyes very, very faintly. The micro-expression was barely visible, so small it was easily over looked. And then his chin was jerking up slightly as if silently giving his permission.
“Fuck all Zel, yer still a hard ass even after all these years.” The armored elf continued amiably as he dropped himself down heavily onto the bench next to the robed figure he seemed so familiar with. “Didja talk t’Dom, give ‘im some good advice ‘bout what t’do for Aya?”
A soft sigh left Zel’s lips and he placed the bookmark back into the book he had been reading and slapped it shut noisily before setting it aside next to himself. He ran his hands together slowly and then placed them into his lap. It almost appeared as if he were preparing himself for some kind of argument. His head tilted to the side and he finally offered Sargonas a smile.
“I did, he seemed to have accepted my proposals quite easily. I am not sure if he was overwhelmed with my explanations or not, however. He appeared to have followed the topic quite easily.”
Sargonas’ brows shot up as amusement flitted across his face for a moment, “S’that so? Well ‘e’s lots smarter’n I thought, if ‘e could listen t’yer theories on all manners of complicated shit’n still be able t’respon’ without lookin’ like a dumb ass. ‘Course, ‘e ain’t as stupid as me, so I guess that’s a big plus.”
Zel’s brows knit together in contrast, incredulity reflecting in his gaze as he shook his head, “We both know you are far more clever than you let on, Sargonas. Why this sudden need to make yourself appear modest and humble?”
Sargonas pauses and turns to look at his friend a bit more directly, leaning back and letting his shoulders fall comfortably against the bench that they were sharing. Silence stretched between them for several long, tense moments and then he finally gives a derisive snort and looks away. Zel, for his part, flashes a knowing look at him and smiles again.
“You are never going to see him again, you know that, right?” Zel’s words were soft, near breathless as he mimics that purposeless gaze, settling it on some object across the road from them while idly watching people of all races make their way to and from various places in the floating city.
The cobbled streets of Dalaran were always so packed at this time of night. With the magically lit lamps that lined the streets and lit the buildings throughout, it was no small wonder why it seemed like the city never slept. Both elves remained silent, seemingly lost in the absorbed sense of purpose the din of the streets gave.
Finally, Sargonas offers a defeated sigh and lowers his head to stare at his boots, “I know. Ain’t nothin’ I can do t’make’t right. What I done was… unforgivable. I could fin’ a way t’live forever ‘an it still wouldn’t be ‘nough time t’repen’ fer what I done.”
“And you think Dominic can save you, somehow?” Even if he was not laughing, it was evident in the smile of Zel’s voice that he clearly was. “Do you love him?”
“‘Course I love’m. That’s a shitty thing t’ask, Zel.”
“Is it?” He murmured softly, brushing his fingers down his robes idly, then lifts his head to look at the other elf through his gilded hair. “You would leave him. If Rose came back, you would leave him.”
Sargonas winces and looks up into the sky, “He was my soul mate, Zel… I jus’ can’t… I couldn’t walk ‘way from’m if ‘e were t’somehow return. What ‘bout you? Yer with that Denley guy now, ain’t ya? You’d leave’m for Ashura if ‘e ever showed up ‘gain, wouldn’t ya? ‘e was th’one that made ya int’a what you are now. Showed you that it weren’t wrong t’let yerself fall in love. That kinna bon’ ain’t easy t’jus’ forget ‘an move on from.”
The robed elf shook his head slowly and sighs, “That is where you and I differ quite a bit, Sargonas. The bond, the memory… it means everything. There is nothing in this world or the next that could replace it. But if he were to walk back in to my life today, even this very moment, I would not abandon Denley.”
Sargonas’ lips twisted into something thin and his expression looked almost dejected as he shifted in his seat, “Yeah well… I ain’t perfect.” His voice came out in a soft mutter, “‘an I ain’t some fuckin’ worldly genius that knows everythin’ ‘bout everythin’ ‘an got all th’fuckin’ answers t’the universe like you do.”
“Is that what you think?” Zel asks softly, the smile returning to his voice, even if his expression had not reflected it.
Sargonas pauses, balls his hands into fists and stares down at them for a long time as he shakes his head, “I jus’ don’t understan’ how you got all this fuckin’ wisdom, ‘an smarts, but y’don’t do much’ve nothin’ with’t. I mean, how’d y’get’t? Were ya born with th’knowledge? Or didja really spen’ all this time learnin’ ‘bout every ‘lil thing you could, jus’ so y’could have th’insight t’keep yerself ahead? ‘an every thing y’do, y’do’t with some kinna purpose like yer waitin’ fer folks t’figger somethin’ out, like ‘an answer that would make th’rest’ve us realize what you do, ‘an fin’ that kinna peace and worldly knowledge ‘an we’d figger out that we don’t gotta suffer near’s much as we have been for all this time. But despite all that y’know, all that y’tol’ me fer years, I can’t figger out why th’fuck y’chose this path. If what I am is so all holy unrighteous ‘an evil, why th’fuck’re you doin’ somethin’ that hurts you ‘an, all rights considered, ain’t exactly a path’ve good?”
Zel remained silent for some time, his expression dark, and he did not look pleased with the way this conversation had turned.
Sargonas did not let up, however, pressing in as soon as he saw his words were hitting home, “Y’can offer all manners’ve advice t’others. Give ‘em jus’ ‘nough t’get ‘em thinkin’ without really interferin’, yet y’goin’ put yerself int’a situation that no sane person’d ever do.”
“What is your point, Sargonas?”
Oh, the gilded one snapped, and rather angrily at that. Sargonas’ expression twisted into something of satisfaction as he tilted his head up, jutting his chin out confidently. Smug bastard.
“Why’re ye punishin’ yerself? If yer so all holy’n righteous, if th’Light isstillso strong with you, ‘an favorin’ you so much, why’re y’doin’ somethin’ as dangerous ‘an stressful as bein’ ‘an Inquisitor?”
“I was asked to.” He replied evenly, a bit defensively as he glared at the Blackguard.
“Oh come off’t. We both know y’ain’t as stupid as that. You’d never lower yerself t’doin’ shitty work like torturin’ people jus’ t’get information fer people y’fuckin’ despise. More’n that, y’willingly put yerself through th’same kinna torture, ‘an you already know how t’fuckin’ get under people’s skin. So’t was unnecessary for you t’even agree t’somethin’ like that. S’why I figger this’s all some elaborate scheme t’punish yerself. ‘An I’m right, ain’t I?”
“I do not understand why you have turned this conversation around on me to begin with. I have come down here upon your request to help your lover aid a mutual friend, and now you are accusing me of things? This hardly seems the best way to show gratitude, Sargonas.” His glance towards the other elf was a thin, disapproving one, and there was absolutely no humor left in his voice.
“But I’m right. ‘an y’know’t. ‘an y’still ain’t answered me why.”
“Perhaps my reasons are really none of your business, Sargonas. The choice was mine, and I made it. That is the end of the story.”
“Yer pissed ‘cause’ve that little shit that manipulated you. Th’worthless ‘lil fuck that y’died for twice? Got corrupted fer? Th’one that led y’roun’ like a fuckin’ dog on a leash that y’loved so godsdamned selflessly, ‘an ended up makin’ th’biggest mistake’ve yer life with? Well, it weren’t yer fuckin’ fault ‘e was a waste’ve fuckin’ cum, Zel. Y’got better now, don’t ya? That Denley guy? ‘an ‘pparently ‘e must be worth somethin’ if y’er that devoted t’im. ‘Course we both know y’ain’t ever been th’same kinna hard ass y’was ‘fore. ‘an y’ain’t ever gonna get that back.” Sargonas folded his arms across his chest and offered Zel a much less smug smile, though still edged with a bit of superiority.
Zel paled a touch and shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he cleared his throat and kept his gaze everywhere but on Sargonas, “Is that the point you are trying to make?”
“Damn fuckin’ right it is. I might be an evil sonuvabitch, but I’ve accepted th’fact that I been changed t’a degree, ‘an I ain’t ever gonna be th’same fer’t ‘gain. ‘an you? Puttin’ yerself through this torture, it ain’t gonna give y’back th’control you feel like y’need so much, t’keep yerself from bein’ overwhelmed like th’rest’ve us. Jus’ ‘cause y’don’t expect no’n else t’be perfect don’t mean y’gotta set yer standards fer yerself that high. I mean, if there wasn’t more proof’ve how unpredictable shit can be, look’t us, Zel? You’n I? We get ‘long jus’ fin’ mos’ days, ‘an you wouldn’t fin’ a pair’ve bastards so diametric’ly opposed’n us.”
Zel sighed softly and closed his eyes, seeming to relent to Sargonas’ logic, no matter how much he likely felt it was flawed. He had to admit it did have a very attractive sound to it.
“I suppose there is an inherent balance that finds a way into our lives despite our knowing. And… for those who stray from it for very long tend to be destroyed much sooner than they would have no doubt liked.”
“Yer fuckin’ depressin’.”
Both men drew their gazes towards each other and fell silent for several moments, then the laughter began to trickle out from them. Soft at first and then more loudly with each passing breath.
“Sad thing is, I know yer right ‘bout’t. M’sure most would jus’ misunderstan’ ya too.” Sargonas was grinning toothily again, but the air of superiority was gone.
Zel merely shrugged and tilted his head back, “It matters little, for those who want to listen, they will keep asking. For those who are too consumed with themselves, they will take it however they wish.”
“Yeah, people’re like that. Still… y’should really stop beatin’ yerself up over shit y’can’t control. S’bout as bad as me tryin’ t’work my way back int’a th’Light when we both know I ain’t gotta chance’n Fel fer’t.” Sargonas reaches out to grasp Zel’s shoulder and squeeze it firmly.
Zel tilted his head faintly and offered the Blackguard a faint, sad smile, “That is not true, you know. You could find your way back. But you will never do what you know it is you must to get there.”
Sargonas sighed heavily and looked away, offering his own shrug now, “Yeah. But some’ve us jus’ weren’t meant t’live in th’Light. Not like th’res’.” He pauses and looks up at Zel questioningly then, “Y’know… I bet… I bet y’know th’truth ‘bout me, don’t ya? Y’know who I really am. Where I came from… why I was walkin’ ‘roun’ with’a sword in m’han’ as a kid, draggin’ feet through th’snow ‘an covered in blood t’arrive up at that orphanage. Know my purpose…”
Zel blinked, his face masked and expressionless as he looked back at Sargonas. He was silent for too long to have denied the truth, but then he murmured softly, “Do you think the knowledge will change anything?”
“Not a single fuckin’ bit.” He answered flatly, capturing that stare and returning it just as blankly.
For whatever reason the answer made Zel smile and nod, “Then there is no point.”
Sargonas gave a soft sigh and turned his head to regard the throng of people walking through the streets once more. A soft snort escaped his nose and he was suddenly giving a crooked smirk to no one in particular.
“Now if only th’rest’ve ‘em would jus’ realize that…”
